When children are sharing a meal, care starts while the food is cooking: set aside a child’s portion before adding hot or strongly flavored spices. Remove fish bones, bone fragments from meat, and fruit pits before serving; keep the portion small. Place hot cookware where a child cannot reach it, and let food cool before serving it to a child. Infant feeding is a separate topic.
The easiest precautions for a meal with children start in the kitchen. Most children do not tolerate spicy heat, sharp seasonings, or some strong flavors as well as adults do. While cooking, set aside the child’s portion before adding red pepper flakes, hot sauce, or plenty of black pepper. The same approach works for sauces and salads: serve the sauce separately and put the plain version of the food on the child’s plate. That way, you do not have to cook two separate meals; the same pot can suit two different palates, and the child can eat the same food as everyone else.
The second step is to check the food before it goes on the plate. Remove bones from fish before serving it to a child; check even a fillet by pressing it with your fingers, since thin bones may not be visible. Remove bone fragments and cartilage from chicken and meat, and cut the meat into small pieces. Remove pits from olives, cherries, and plums. Cut round, slippery foods such as grapes and cherry tomatoes in half lengthwise and then into smaller pieces for young children. Do this calmly in the kitchen while preparing the plate, not in a hurry at the table.
Keep the child’s portion small. A large serving can overwhelm a child and leave more food uneaten; children tend to eat more when you serve a little and offer more if they ask. Choose a plate that will not break easily and has a slightly raised rim so food does not slide off while the child pushes it with a spoon. Keep foods separate on the plate so they do not mix; some children will not eat mixed food because they do not recognize it. Choose a fork and spoon sized for the child’s hand; an adult-sized fork can be unsteady in a small hand and spill food onto the table.
Heat is the greatest danger at the table. Put hot pots, soup bowls, kettles, and teapots in the center of the table or in front of an adult, out of a child’s reach. Keep hot cookware away from the edge of a tablecloth, which a child might pull. Let food cool for a while on the child’s plate and test it before serving: it is ready to serve when no steam rises from the food and the back of a spoon does not feel hot against an adult’s lip. Soup cools faster on a wide plate than in a deep bowl.
Seating arrangements help, too. Seat the child next to an adult who can help and within that person’s reach; a seat near the end of the table makes it easier to get up and turn when needed. Pour only a little into the child’s cup, and choose one with a wide base that is less likely to tip over. Do not cook a separate meal for the child; serve the plain version of the family’s food. This helps the child feel like part of the family meal and learn about new foods by seeing them on other people’s plates. Infant feeding is a separate topic outside this table setup.